(Mandatory) Analog Mission Week 7 – This is my life now

Sunday May 3, 2020

Sleep: 6 hours 37 minutes (score: 84)

Weight: 102.0

Exercise: no

Overall: averagely positive

PT: no

I kind of had a lazy day today... slept in until like 10 AM and watched TV and didn't get nearly as much stuff checked off as I had wanted. That is okay. I can do more of that stuff with all this free time I am going to have during the week! I wasn't as productive but I still got a decent amount done (I am just super hard on myself) and I did a lot of laundry today. A LOT of laundry. It is ridiculous I had clothes left.

I went live on A Space Story and talked about the NASA announcement of the lunar lander and that kind of stuff... And then I got into COVID-19. It was really interesting and I felt like what I was saying might have truly resonated with some people. It was pretty cool. I also did a PoSSUM Social Media chat with the larger social media team. I am getting ramped up to start my social media goals again... think I am going to try videos more than pictures... but doing it for a large platform like that is terrifying. And time consuming.

Anyways I watched too much TV today so I think I will just... back off for the rest of the week. Should make it easier. I think today was VERY important as a lazy day. It helped me kind of reset. I feel like I have been so nose to the grind stone for so long it was nice to come up and let my head be in the clouds.

Monday May 4, 2020

May the Fourth be with You

Sleep: 7 hours 23 minutes (score: 87)

Weight: 102.2

Exercise: yes

Overall: positive

PT: yes

What a day! Overall I would say it was positive. I was productive at work, I had a DOPE post for Star Wars Day.... Literally you guys have got to see it. I might try to figure out how to post it here... I am so proud of it. People seem to like it too. I also got homework done and a video for a friend's elementary school class on space resources and some other little things here and there. So I feel good.

But I ruined it for myself. I ended up opening a whole can of worms tonight. Just letting the stuff in that you keep out. Not in like "I suppress this because I don't know how to cope" way but like "I let this come out once a year" way. I knew it was going to happen. It always does. It makes me reconsider things... and I think I have an idea on how to make it feel better for me. I know I am being really obscure right now... I promise I will try to explain... at some point... or I won't. Who knows!

In other news I feel a bit more energized. Still need to work on some planning, specifically for social media, to feel better but I think I am getting settled into this life pretty well. I feel good again. And I know that will fade... because emotions are cyclic and based on external factors, but I know how to pull myself out of it in the new world of quarantine. So that is cool!

Alright one of my goals was to absolutely kill it with sleep this week. So I am going to go do that. Goodnight all!

Tuesday May 5, 2020

Sleep: 7 hours 1 minute (score: 83)

Weight: 101.6

Exercise: yes

Overall: very positive 8

PT: yes

First of all, don't freak out. I know the 8 was new and scary... but I meant to do that. It is going to help me with my data analysis on my sleep vs mood through quarantine! Obviously...

Today was a freaking solid day. I feel really good going to sleep. I had a hard time waking up today. But I feel really solid about my career after today. I gave my little social media talk to the PoSSUM people. I got some people excited... felt like a little kid though... But I still felt really good. And then I hung out with my family. It was good to see them. And my mom and I were being silly and it was so nice. And my uncle locked his keys in his car. That was funny. God my family is awesome. We got together for Cinco de Mayo! For no reason other than my parents really like this Mexican food restaurant down the street. But it was great!

I wish I had more to report today. More deep stuff. Or an explanation why today was good. But I don't. This week is all about feeling like Bailey again after a stressful month of schooling. And I am loving it.

Wednesday May 6, 2020

Sleep: 6 hours 27 minute (score: 82)

Weight: 103.6

Exercise: yes

Overall: very positive 9

PT: yes

Okay... so... apparently I had too much Cinco de Mayo food last night... I got a pretty high score on my weight this morning. That is a-okay with me. I had a pretty good day today. Work was really frustrating... I had a two hour meeting turn into a five hour meeting and basically got told I won't have the work I thought I would for a few weeks. I kind of just sat there like... what. Then I was frustrated through the PRISM project because I JUST WANT A DIRECTION. Just tell me what to do and don't take away my work! Ya know? I don't even know.
Anyways I talked to a financial advisor today... so I am going to be rich soon.  Yeah right. But I am on a direction so that is good. I love planning for the future. And then after my five and a half hour phone call... I sat on the phone for four hours with a Senior Fellow from my company. Ugh it was amazing but I am so tired. She really threw off my sleep schedule. But it was worth it. She said "I think for people like *us* life will only get better because of our emotions..." and oh my god my heart got so happy. Maybe I am going okay by being emotional in the future.

Honestly once again, there is no reason for having a good day. But it was. So I guess my mood is getting better! Once again I got a later start that I expected so I don't have any Bailey rants or life revelations. I am a little worried about my birthday but overall, I feel really good about where I am, who I am with, what I am doing, and who I am right now. So I am mostly excited. 🙂

Thursday May 7, 2020

It's my birthday!

Sleep: 6 hours (score: 81)

Weight: 103.0

Exercise: yes

Overall: very positive 9

PT: no

Well dang. That was a really solid birthday. Work was okay. Little frustrating, not bad. I got on video chat with Amanda's class today to talk about space... as always that was super fun! And I had Panda for lunch. It was delicious and relaxing. And after work was done... I went live and poured my heart out to my viewers. I have an issue with my birthday for a lot of reasons but one of them is the STEM school shooting where Kendrick was killed. It happened a year ago today. In my home town. And it breaks my heart and I just... want to fix it. For everyone. But I cannot. Anyways skip over the cry-y part... and now we are at a surprise party happy hour for Joe Rice. We are birthday buddies. No big deal. Then I went over to my sister's and had fun. I love those guys. My nephew is having his tonsils out tomorrow and I wanted to see him before he hated everything. I asked him what he was doing tomorrow and he goes "I am having my surgery out." and I was like "close enough kid." Finally I went over to my parents' house for cake. It was great. It was nice to talk to my mom too. I took my dumb instagram pictures on their gorgeous back porch... and just had fun in general. They gave me a Garmin watch for my birthday. I am about to get SO into fitness y'all need to watch out. The issue is I don't know when I will have the time to do that... but I will find it!

Okay so reflection time. I think... I am in a good place. I think I could be freaking out about everything that is about to go done. But really more than I am... curious. If that makes sense. Like 23 already surpassed the craziest things I thought would happen to me. I am on my way to creating the life I always wanted but didn't want to let myself want. If that makes sense. And I just am excited to see what happens next. And honestly so so so curious. Like what is my next big break? Who am I going to meet this year? What will my career look like? And I am not worried because no matter what I will make the best of it and learn from it and just... keep moving up. Plus I mean... I can't have my expectations because how am I supposed to top this last year for me?? Let's review:

May - DC for two weeks for Humans to Mars Summit and Citizen for Space Exploration

June - one year at my job, started getting into astronomy, got accepted into NASA social

July - first rocket launch (ish, it was the Orion abort test) and NASA social, Kennedy Space Center, Vegas!

August - began grad school (master's in space resources) and accepted into PoSSUM!

September - PoSSUM training! It was amazing!

October - first big presentation to elementary school kids on space, visit Johnson Space Center and NBL, host Mae Jemison at Mines

November - foot surgery! (no exclamation point. it was horrible)

December - Christmas (duh) and met Sasha Sagan

January - Vegas for CES!

February - PoSSUM 13

March - Suborbital Space Conference with PoSSUM friends, quarantine begins

April - completed ground school, PoSSUM 13 social media begins

May - finished first year of grad school

Like COME ON. ONE of those months has enough stuff to last a year. What an insane (and exhausting) year. And I didn't even cover a bunch of things. I am so happy with my friends and my family and my space community and just... everything. It has been kind of hard lately but it just feels right at this moment. Here is to 24!

Friday May 8, 2020

Sleep: 5 hours 5 minute (score: 76)

Weight: 103.0

Exercise: yes

Overall: positive ish 6

PT: no

Pretty good day. I think the lack of sleeping is hitting me. I got my feel good vibes from that initiative my company is doing. I always get excited about these things. I got some good work done for my day job stuff too so it felt good to be busy and productive. After work, I forgot I had to give my responses to P13 so I spent a lot of time doing that.

Let me talk about that for a second. It was incredible! We had 10 submissions and they are all incredible. Like ho-ly crap. I am intimidated by the ingenuity and intelligence of these high school students. Two big take aways. 1. Science is taught differently throughout the world and thus how kids' brains think about problems and developed these proposals were different. You can really see this from the different countries. 2. The submissions that did the best were when the students took something they were really passionate about and then applied it up to space or microG. They weren't these super complex game changing physics altering experiments. The passion projects will always be where it is at. And I love that.

I had a good evening too. It was kind of busy and stressful trying to cram so much in but it was good. My nephew also had surgery. Seems like it went well and he feels perfectly fine. Kids man. I tell ya.

I NEED to do the sleep thing. I am really starting to see how it impacts me. It makes the average days better and not as impacted by negative events or surprises. It keeps me level headed. So yeah... I desperately need to get back into that. Also water. My watch helps track that and I think I have been dehydrated. And so many other things I am going to use my watch to get better at. It has a stressed setting! I find it so interesting.

Saturday May 9, 2020

Sleep: 6 hours 26 minute (score: 73)

Weight: 103.2

Exercise: no

Overall: positive 7

PT: yes

It was a pretty good day! I started off with a cup of coffee because the sleep thing is NOT going well. But we had our P13 meeting about the top three proposals to be selected to go to the next round. ALL OF THEM WERE SO GOOD. We decided to go with two and a possible back up experiment to be designed. It was really fun to sit there any listen to other smart scientists and plan and collaborate. Afterwards two of the P13 members stayed on and I HAD THIS GREAT IDEA. So basically all the projects were so good and we were so sad we couldn't choose them all, I thought what if they could showcase their ideas. A virtual science fair! Each group gets one person to present their idea. This will encourage the ones who weren't selected to still get feedback and make it better before they present it. Hopefully it will keep them in the PoSSUM STEM pipeline too. It also is a great marketing opportunity for PoSSUM. I am so stoked. You heard it here first folks.

Then I worked on that NASA proposal. Oh my goodness it is so frustrating. We have a very preliminary idea and none of the details are there. But the report can only be 5 pages and we are at 7 and still missing information. I just... I can't get it down and I don't know what we are doing so I can't get super passionate about it to make it happen. It is so frustrating.

Then I was on a call with a couple of space contacts and it was super fun and nerdy. One of them went to a virtual space conference and shared what he took notes on. That was cool. The other guy shared THIS SUPER COOL THING called Poly Magnets. They are 3D printed magnets so you can choose where the south and north poles are and mix them into each other. ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE. It is hard to explain over text... but basically you can make them attract until the split second before they touch then they repeal so it just kind of hangs there. Or you can make them attract and you twist them and then it repeals. Insane applications. I will try to go into them more later. This group is supposed to be standing up a non profit... but instead we just geek out about space.

Then I had dinner with my parents. I love those guys. We had sushi and watched Knives Out. Oh man what a movie. I loved that so much. VERY well done and well casted. 10/10. Then our next suggested movie was Clue. One of my favorites so I made them watch it. They fell asleep... but I still enjoyed it! It has been really nice to have them so close.

Busy day but nothing really truly productive got done. I need to get some papers done and get back on my sleep schedule. This should be interesting.