(Mandatory) Analog Mission Week 10 – Gettin’ Serious

Sunday May 24, 2020

Sleep: 5 hours 46 minutes (score: 69)

Weight: 102.2

Exercise: ye s

Overall: pretty positive, tired (6)

PT: no

Remember how I said I was going to do this earlier so I could type more? Well it is technically earlier. It is like 9PM. But I am completely wiped so it might as well be midnight. One of the things my Garmin does is called a "body battery" and it is super cool! I ended yesterday with a 9 (the lowest I have ever seen it by about 30) and then started today with a 39 (usually start with a 65-90 score) so really I don't know how I functioned today.

I started this morning with a lazy morning. Did a little social media stuff... a little reflection... then I went and did... Taekwondo! I haven't done it in... literally almost a year. My big brother Kyle did all my patterns with me.. and it sucked and my foot hurt and I couldn't remember them all. But it felt daaaaang good to be doing it again. We had a heart to heart about our futures too which was nice. And he gave me some social media tips and stuff... Social media has been really hard for me lately. I am hoping to get back in the groove. I don't know how to proceed on all my pages yet. Maybe tomorrow? Maybe I need to organize my thoughts more.

HA Like anyone could organize MY thoughts! That is a good one...

Monday May 25, 2020

Sleep: 9 hours 59 minutes (score: 94)

Weight: 102.8

Exercise: no

Overall: positive, low stress, not focused (8)

PT: no

It was a good day. And I actually took the holiday for what it was supposed to be for! Relaxing and having fun! And I slept a BUNCH. I am actually very proud of that. I definitely needed it. After I finally got up this morning, I met my parents at the land they own in southern Colorado. I miss that place. It is absolutely beautiful. It was so nice to walk around and see that while things change in the outside world and out of my control, things there are the same. I mean there are some differences. Some of my favorite trees fell down over time. It is more dry this year that in other years. But the basics of it are all there and that made me feel a lot safer.

Honestly not much to report. Actually... honestly... that is a lie. I have so much going on but I am not ready to share it all yet. That is probably why these posts have been so short. I did get to watch A Very Potter Musical tonight though. If you have never seen it and you are a Harry Potter fan (and like dumb humor and don't mind cussing) then I HIGHLY recommend it. It is bad quality... just stay with it.

I have a feeling this blog is really going to help in the next few weeks.

Tuesday May 26, 2020

Sally Ride's Birthday!

Sleep: 5 hours 29 minutes (score: 80)

Weight: 102.8

Exercise: yes

Overall: positive, stress, excited, scared (7)

PT: no

Today was the day of a thousand meetings again. Ugh it was HORRIBLE. I mean I worked for like nine and a half hours today and the majority of that time was meetings. Like eight hours or something stupid like that.

But I solved the Rubik's cube a bunch! And I got an exciting email from about that... could be something cool and promising in the future!

I also got some very exciting news today. And some very terrifying news. This is my call to action and I can't turn it down. No matter how scared I am. I ended up getting ice cream and watching Chuck to deal with it... I am obviously ready to be an adult.

My live this week will be Toxic Stress vs Positive Stress. I don't know if I am necessarily the poster child for that... but hey I will give it my best shot. I think I will first talk about knowing yourself (again). I hope if they get SOMETHING out of all my lives it is that you have to truly know yourself to start doing all this work on yourself and make it worthwhile. I think I will talk about my time bank that I use, goals and making sure your stress aligns with your goals... choosing to stress... I need to sit with this one some more...

Wednesday May 27, 2020

(Attempted) Launch Day

Sleep: 5 hours 41 minutes (score: 79)

Weight: 103.8

Exercise: yes

Overall: positive (8)

PT: no

Well today was SUPPOSED to be a big day in space. But Florida weather had different plans. So here is the short and sweet version. SpaceX teamed up with NASA to launch humans on American soil again for the first time since 2011 with the end of the shuttle era. The two astronauts who were going to be on it were experienced astronauts Bob Behnken and Doug Hurley (fun fact they are both married to two female astronauts) and it was going to be the first SpaceX crewed (not manned) launch. But about 16 minutes and 53 seconds before the launch (that is t-16:53 for all of ya) NASA scrubbed the mission due to weather. Next launch window should be Saturday.

Even though that was a bummer, I had a really good day today. I made a big jump (to be announced soon) and got some really interesting opportunities coming up. And I felt really happy with my network and support system today. This morning was rough. But it got better. Mostly because space. I also had a VERY relaxing night and got some planning and some social media stuff done. Got pretty regularly under 1:30 for the cube again... I went live for the launch and it went AMAZINGLY well. I had WAY more views than normal and everyone was asking such great questions and stuff like that. It felt good. Then I had a Colorado Aerospace Business Round Table Zoom session. it was fun enough. I felt a little braggy... but it was still fun!

Overall... I have a lot to work out. But I feel like I got this now.

Thursday May 28, 2020

Sleep: 6 hours 25 minutes (score: 78)

Weight: 103.0

Exercise: yes

Overall: positive (8)

PT: no

Okay guys. BIG day today. I still don't want to tell you why. Soon though. And I will reflect on today.

I did a live about stress today. As many of you know... I am kind of the stress queen. I live in stress, thrive in stress, stress if I don't have stress. It is my natural state of being. Essentially my live was about changing your relationship with stress and embracing it as a sensor that you care about something but might be overworked. And to use it as we do with sensors... to gather data and then make a meaningful conclusion on how it applies to your life. I think it was good. Not nearly as big of a turn out. I also feel kind of dumb when I do those lives... like I ramble and my thoughts aren't fully organized and like people might just be like "whaaaaaat is this chick going on about...." but hey... I keep showing up.

I also reconnected with a LOT of people today. Just reaching out to say hey and stuff. It felt good to know I have so much support moving forward. Rubik's cube wasn't as good today... right around 1:20s range... I will get it to go down. I have to!

Tomorrow is going to be a chill day. It is the premier of Space Force! And I have some appointments to get out of the house... I think things are turning around. I feel good.

Friday May 29, 2020

Sleep: 7 hours 32 minutes (score: 85)

Weight: 103.2

Exercise: no

Overall: positive (7)

PT: no

I had a relaxing day today (according to my smart watch) and it was so nice. Also you may notice I did not work out today. And you may be saying to yourself "what? Bailey. Girl. You only worked out three days this week. What is going on with you?" Well first check out my sleep score for yesterday. It was much needed. Second, it is my dad's fault. Monday was a holiday and he is with his family today. So it was just a bit of a (much needed) break.

I sat through more meetings today at work. After work I got lunch (and a Speed Rubik's Cube so I am pretty stoked about that) and had some blood work done for a check up. I then went and hung out with my sister and her family. And directly to my sister, I love you so much and I always have a blast with you. Seriously guys she is the best. And my nephew is adorable too. We went over to her neighbor's house to have a watch party of Space Force. It was amazing. I actually really like the show. The first episode was decent and the second one had me on the fence but i loved the following episodes. Seriously guys they captured the excitement of space SO FREAKING WELL. And the hard work and different areas of space training and all this stuff. Steve's general character went on a rant about why space is important to a character that represented AOC. And. It. Was. Beautiful. The huge argument is why go to space when we have so many issues on Earth to fix. It was so good. I wasn't expecting a legit response from this show. So good.

I also posted a video about the pain going on in the world. It really really hurts me. There is definitely racism and racial bias in the world still and it doesn't affect me directly but it still hurts me. It hurts me to see these people wronged for doing nothing. It hurts me to see the response from this pain be so hateful and very much "eye for an eye" sort of mentality. I wish people would stop and look objectively as well as listen to their emotions so we can actually change the world and not just be pissed off by it. I wish I could help but I am doing what I can to inspire a more kind generation. In my video I talked about how space to me represents the best of the best. Smart people, health people, but also caring and emotionally intelligent people who truly want to change the world. And this is a reminder of exact opposite of that. It has led to a lot of internal conflict and frankly emotional whiplash. I hope we can find a middle ground one day.

Today was a day not about me. I didn't have anything crazy epic happen (other than a sick video chat with someone famous on the other end who you would NEVER believe... it was epic) and it wasn't too much about me and my life today. I felt a lot of pain to day, but it was still a positive day. One thing I am scared of is I am having so many positive days lately that my positive days are going  to go from 7 and 8s to 5s and 6s because they are going to become normal days. But I guess if anything I am doing is raising my standard of normal up a notch, it has got to be good.

Saturday May 30, 2020

Sleep: 7 hours 17 minutes (score: 81)

Weight: 103.6

Exercise: no

Overall: very positive (9)

PT: no

Ah-maz-ing day. Oh my goodness. So I woke up this morning... went and got breakfast IN and ACTUAL restaurant for the first time in almost three months. Went and hung out in the OUTDOOR world (and got sunburned which I have to admit has never felt so good). And that was before noon. It was amazing to have a brief taste of normal life since COVID. WOW. It was a great relief.

Then the real fun started. I sat in on like 5 launch parties for.... drum roll please... LAUNCH AMERICA. IT HAPPENED TODAY. The launch actually happened and it was beautiful. We launched American astronauts from American soil for the first time in almost a decade. This is the future and we are doing it right now. We are living the stuff that is going to go into the history textbooks in a few years. OMG it was freaking amazing. I got chills. But I didn't cry. Weird. Seriously. WTF I always cry. At everything. But I was so excited I forgot to cry? Like what.

Then I went to my parents house and started going through stuff. It was an amazing trip down memory lane. One was my sorority. Fun fact I was in a sorority. Since leaving college (and even my senior year) I was kind of... shunned from a lot of the girls in my sorority. And it hurt and I wish they knew that. But I didn't fight to stay in the game or anything. But I read a bunch of letters I got when I graduated from the younger girls and... I have always been this person. I just didn't see it before. But they did. And they wrote about it. I just didn't understand it at the time. It gave me a soft spot for my sorority again. Even if some of the older girls treated me like crap near the end.

Anyways... I ended today with a last minute live stream guest with my space buddy Ron and some AMAZING space nerds. Including one of the guys who worked on SpaceX's space suits. It was so cool. And one of the guys told me how much he respects what I am doing. Which is insane. These are established space people and he was excited to meet me? Like are you kidding me right now?

This is it guys. The world is going crazy right now. This is an absolutely insane time. There is so much pain. There is so much uncertainty which leads to uncomfortable negative feelings like anger and hate and it just... it sucks. It sucks so bad to be on the outside watching this happen. But today was a reminder of why I am doing what I am doing. And why I have to remain positive. And constantly tell the world to practice kindness. I have to keep showing everyone the crazy ideas I have about a positive world.